Riddles & Jokes

Riddles:

 

A horse jumps over a castle and lands on a man who then disappears. How is this possible?

A: It is chess and the horse, castle, and man are the people.

 

There is a bridge that takes 8 minutes to cross. On one side there is a kingdom and on the other freedom. There is a guard on duty in the kingdom that will never miss with his bow. He will shoot anyone escaping from the kingdom and will turn away anyone else. He turns away from the bridge every 5 minutes and for 5 minutes. You are a captive in the kingdom. How do you escape?

 

A: You start walking when the guard is on duty and then turn around and approach the guard again. When you reach the guard, he will turn you away and then you will be free.

 

What has water but isn’t wet, Forests but no trees, and cities with no people?

A: It is a map

 

A jungle explorer is exploring the jungle when they reach into their pocket and find something. This thing is something the explorer didn’t expect to find but has a head and tail.

 

A builder is hard at work building a wooden fence when a small thing stops them. They look for the thing but can’t find the thing. Eventually they give up and go home because they can’t find the thing. 

A: A splinter

 

20 Mice are squirming around in a classroom. No one is freaking out. Why?

A: They’re computer mice

Even on the farm, before my creation, I still cover. What am I?

A: A blanket (comes from sheep)

 

Jokes:

 

J: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the other chicken wasn’t maintaining social distance

 

J: What do you call a sad frog?

Un-hoppy

 

J: What does the earth say when they look up at the moon

Stop mooning me

 

J: What did the cacti say to the fancy cacti?

You’re looking sharp.

 

J: A man walks into a bar. He gets knocked to the ground

 

J: What did Steve Jobs give to the doctor

An “Apple” product

 

J: A son asks his dad, “Dad, what is dark humor” 

The Dad replies, “You see that homeless man over there”

The son replies, “Dad, you know I’m blind”

“Exactly”, The Dad agrees.

 

J: What do you call a sad fantasy creature?

sElf-Depression

 

J: Why did the son destroy his mom’s garden stuff?

Because they were an-Gnome-ing him.

 

J: What do you call people who eat hay?

Neigh-bors

 

J: A man walks into a bar

Now he needs crutches